This is a free post.
An article about microschools, with this headline and description, recently appeared in the New York Times: Inside the ‘Microschools’ Movement: Parents, desperate for help, are turning to private schools with a half-dozen or so students.
Microschool This
I and I alone attend the most exclusive microschool in the country, maybe even the world.
I am the school’s only student.
I went to a normal school for many years. Even though it was a small private school, I felt burdened by the presence of the other students. One day, three kids had their hands up, three kids including me, and I was called on last. Now the very instant I need help I am helped.
You might be thinking, well, that’s not very character building, always getting instant attention.
You’re right, technically.
But being the only student at my school gives me a chance to be the best at everything while simultaneously being the worst at everything. They say that “grit” is developed when you are able to recover from failures and to move onto success. My parents did a cost-benefit analysis. They discovered that because of the amount of confidence-boosting wins I would enjoy and resilience-boosting losses I would endure — even taking into consideration never developing the ability to self-regulate while waiting for attention from authority figures — I would be experiencing a net gain character-wise.
I want to make it clear that I don’t believe other kids shouldn’t be allowed to live. I simply perform better in an academic environment where I don’t have to be around anyone who is not exactly like me, or, more specifically, who is not me.
In many ways my school, a chair in our neighbor’s kitchen, resembles any other school in America.
You might think that we could not have a basketball team. Well, you are wrong. I play both of the guards, both of the forwards and the center. I am also the manager. I’m not just a cheerleader. I am all of them. I can toss myself up into the air and stand on my own shoulders.
We were going to have a chess team but what with all of my extracurriculars, I decided I wouldn’t have the time to make fun of myself in the lunch room.
Science experiments can be tough. There’s something about pouring vinegar into a plastic volcano filled with baking soda and watching it explode that really begs for a larger audience.
My teacher asked me if I wanted her to manufacture some enthusiasm for the volcano. In the end we decided she didn’t get paid enough to fake being bowled over by a fairly routine chemical reaction for some stupid kid/me.
I often think about what I will say in my speech as class valedictorian. Maybe I will talk about what a special relationship you are able to have with your teacher when you both never see anyone else. Or I will talk about my dream of giving back to the microschools movement one day by opening the first microschool ever with zero students. I know a lot of people think a dream like this is impossible to achieve and what I say to those people is I wish you could have attended a microschool because then you would understand how important one voice can be, particularly when that voice is your own.
Amazing satire on the current homeschooling craze.
Not stupid at all. I have more questions.
At what ages. Was this person a trading teacher? Do you have siblings? If yes did they go to traditional school?