To amuse myself I set a timer for three minutes and wrote down everything I know about the NYC mayor's race

I live 3000 miles away. I DGAF. Here's what has seeped in.

Between 8 and 11 people are running for mayor. One of them is named Maya. One or more of them is very thin. One of them is a policeman, or was. He runs something. Someone accused this guy of living in New Jersey and this guy said he lived in Brooklyn but something about his refrigerator means this is maybe not true. He showed his E-ZPass receipts to prove that his refrigerator was his refrigerator.

Two people are campaigning together because they are hoping voters will get confused and vote for one of them by accident.

Someone else who runs something else wants to be mayor so little girls will know they can be mayors. (Maya?) Someone named Dianne/Diane? is bad. Someone named Scott (or Steve) is also bad, for different reasons. Someone running is really rich, he is probably also bad, no one knows, he is also possibly named Steve. Andrew Yang hates homeless people. Everyone hates Andrew Yang. He might win, but probably refrigerator guy will.

One candidate “protested” one of the other candidates. Hurricane Sandy was bad; no one cares. It has been very hot, but people still want to be the mayor of New York City. Hardly anyone is voting.