The Enemy Of All That Is Right

And the friend who bore witness

Hi. I have a lot of followers right now. Let me encourage some of you to subscribe. I paywall almost everything. You should read my work because it’s funny and reasonably intelligent but easy to read. I know things add up, even not super expensive things like $1.75 a week. But my fans tell me they feel it is worth it to see my essays in their email boxes, that it brightens their day. It brightens my day when I write something worth reading. Here is a story about an old friend. I write a lot about friends, because they do funny stuff.

The Guy Who Ate Fruit Salad

I used to go to a 12-step meeting in Los Angeles on Saturday mornings. I went to three different 12-step meetings in Los Angeles, I’m not sure which problem this one was for. My BFF from this meeting was a writer about thirty years older than me who was brilliant and had had some success but was struggling. His name was Bob. I used to take him to lunch a lot and pay, because I was working. At lunch we talked about writing and 12-step stuff and affairs he’d witnessed while working on movies. He’d tell me about macho actors crying over actresses. “I’d say to him, hey, you can’t let this chick get to you. Do you know how bananas this chick is? Do you know how many sad sacks she’s done this to? You’re one guy in a long line of dipshits. Get it together and get back to work.”