Ruthie In The Breakdown Lane
Ruthie does not like going fast or watching fast things move or scratchy stuff
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I also write about fire season, I recently wrote about meeting Joe Rogan once, which was enough.
Ruthie In The Breakdown Lane
Today this morning I/me/(Ruthie) got into the moving red thing that goes fast with Mommy and Daddy. Ruthie does not like to be in the moving red thing that goes fast for a long time. It was the longest time Ruthie has ever been in it. Mommy and Daddy were talking and talking and talking. Sometimes Mommy touched Ruthie’s head but mostly no one talked to Ruthie or even looked at Ruthie. Ruthie just pressed herself against the seat and waited for it to be over. Ruthie waited and waited and waited and it was still not over.
Mommy tried to give Ruthie some water but Ruthie does not drink water unless Ruthie is at home. Mommy fed Ruthie ice chips out of her hand. Ruthie likes to eat ice chips out of Mommy’s hand in fact Ruthie has discovered that when she has to go fast in the fast red thing for a long time eventually she will be fed ice chips out of Mommy’s hand. This is fun but it is not a reason for Ruthie to enjoy lying around for a long time just hurtling through space. Ruthie does not like to hurtle though space!
Mommy was driving when the very loud noise happened. Mommy shouted. Ruthie sat up. They were still in the fast red thing but it was not going fast. It was at this moment that Ruthie saw something terrible. The fast things that had been going past her before were going very fast. Some of them were big and made a roaring sound. Oh no, thought Ruthie, this is so bad. Then something even worse happened. Ruthie was being pulled. Ruthie tried to not go but she was pulled. Then Daddy picked Ruthie up. Ruthie knows that Daddy only picks her up when there is something that Ruthie can not do and if there is something Ruthie can not do that means there is danger. Daddy seemed to be lifting Ruthie over something. Mommy stepped over the same thing and then Ruthie and Mommy were standing in some very pointy things that were tan and dry and scratchy. This is the worst possible thing, thought Ruthie. Ruthie must shake and shake and shake. Ruthie will shake and shake and shake and keep shaking.
Mommy kept telling Ruthie that everything was ok but Ruthie thought Why are you telling Ruthie that everything is Ok? Whenever Ruthie hears that everything is Ok this many times Ruthie knows one thing: Everything is not Ok!
Mommy put a hat on and put lots of white stuff on her face. Then Mommy sat down in the scratchy stuff. Suddenly Ruthie felt lots of poop coming out of her butt. Ruthie had not known that there was poop there but maybe her heart was beating so fast it had pumped it out. Ruthie was so thirsty. Ruthie panted and panted.
Daddy was holding the thing he usually pokes at with his fingers up to his ear and talking and talking. Daddy was talking to the thing he always pokes with his fingers and Mommy was saying everything is Ok over and over again and but Ruthie did not think that if things were Ok Daddy would be talking to someone other than Mommy while all of them sat in dry scratchy stuff.
Ruthie and Mommy and Daddy sat in the scratchy stuff for a long time. Ruthie drank water out of the deepest biggest thing Ruthie had ever drunk water out of. Ruthie stuck her nose all the way into it and drank and drank and it made the scratchy stuff a little better.
After a while Mommy and Daddy stood up. Ruthie stood up. In front of the red thing that goes fast was a giant yellow thing that goes fast. Daddy ran to it and Ruthie began to shake again. What if the yellow thing that goes fast took Daddy away? The giant yellow thing made a horrible sound and after a while the little red thing that goes fast in was up on the big yellow thing’s back.
Ruthie looked at Mommy. Mommy looked at Ruthie. Ruthie tried to communicate with her look: What if this yellow thing puts Ruthie on its back? What then for Ruthie?
Suddenly Daddy picked up Ruthie, took her out of the scratchy stuff, and put her into the yellow thing. Why did Ruthie have to go into a big yellow thing that looked like it moved? Why was there a person inside the yellow thing that Ruthie had never seen? Ruthie barked and barked. Ruthie does not like to see people she has never seen. Ruthie does not like it when she is at home and a car pulls up the street half a block away so being a few feet away in an enclosed space with someone Ruthie has never seen is also off the table for Ruthie. Mommy and Daddy told Ruthie to stop making noise but Ruthie was upset and when Ruthie is upset Ruthie will not stop making noise until Ruthie is ready. Mommy sat next to the person Ruthie had never seen. Ruthie barked some more. What if the person Ruthie had never seen was here to take Mommy away from Ruthie? Some time passed and Ruthie noticed the person she had never seen was not looking at her and Ruthie thought maybe if she stopped barking he would forget Ruthie was there so Ruthie stopped barking.
They all went fast in the big yellow thing for a while, but not as long as Ruthie had sat in the scratchy stuff. Then they stopped and Daddy and the person Ruthie had never seen got out of the big yellow moving thing and after it made more bad noises it put the small red moving thing on the ground. Ruthie did not feel so bad at this point. Mommy had stopped telling Ruthie everything was Ok so maybe everything probably was. In fact Ruthie thought maybe she would like to sit in the place where the person who she had never seen before had been sitting. She looked out the window. Ruthie decided tan scratchy stuff was better to look at than be scratched by.
Mommy was laughing at Ruthie. Ruthie did not know what was so funny. Ruthie was just sitting there. Then Daddy came back to the yellow thing and picked Ruthie up and put her into the red thing and soon they were all going fast again. Ruthie put her head down and waited for it to be over.
