My Growth Mindset Goes Into Overdrive

Sorry I did not put out a post last week. I was writing a hard story. It’s still not done, but I did make some progress. I will put out another post in a few days to make up for it.

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My Growth Mindset Goes Into Overdrive

The other day, I did something I’ve never done before in my life and which I did not think I was capable of doing. I took 20 or so garbage bags filled with wet leaves and dumped the contents of them into our green bin and into various green bins of kind neighbors.

The reason I’ve never done that before is because I’ve barely done any yard work in my life ever. I can’t say I’ve done nothing. One time when I was around six I cut some chives from a garden. I have raked for maybe a total of three hours in my life and I have operated a wheelbarrow for maybe twenty minutes. Two years ago, I mowed our lawn because I wanted to see what it was like and also because the person I live with was disgusted that I had never mowed a lawn and I thought if I didn’t do it he might lose all respect for me. But I did it once and that seemed to do the trick because I did a bad job. I might be a lazy piece of shit, but I’m not stupid, and I’m not about to get hoodwinked into doing a good job mowing my lawn. 

Now that I list all these things I find myself thinking that’s actually kind of a lot of yard work. But none of it was difficult. It did not involve discomfort or brute strength or problem-solving.

What happened was the people who do stuff to our yard once in a while filled all these bags of leaves up back in the fall, and left them there. They took up about 1/4 of our lawn. We were supposed to take them to the dump but we were busy. Then it rained a lot. It was not a good situation.

This is the sort of thing I would normally leave for someone else to take care of. As time passed something horrifying occurred to me. This wasn’t going to happen. I found myself in a quandary. I didn’t know how to empty wet leaves into a bin. But I had to. I wondered if it was possible to figure it out. I thought it probably wasn’t. It was probably impossible. 

One day after I finished working I went outside and looked at the leaves. There were so many bags! It was Monday, the trash would be picked up in the morning. All right, I thought. I’m going to try to empty two of these bags of leaves. I’ll find the lightest ones and I’m just going to dump them to maybe put a dent in this.

I couldn’t find one bag that was light, all the bags were soaked through. But I picked up one bag because I had decided I was going to do two bags and I had to start with one. I hauled it over to our green bin. I think it probably weighed like 80 pounds? I don’t know, it weighed a lot. I dragged it over to the bin and I emptied it upside down, and nothing came out of it because its contents were almost sludge-like. I ended up having to slice the bag on a couple sides, and push the leaves out, and then pull the frayed bag out in little pieces. 

I saw worms. I touched worms and slime. At first I felt scared. I kind of couldn’t believe this was happening. I did the second bag then I did another bag. Some of the bags I had to pick up and carry in my arms because they were falling apart. I ended up doing maybe 15 bags, like maybe 2/3 of the bags that were on the lawn, and the only reason I stopped is because I filled up our bin and two of our neighbors' bins.

I was so impressed with myself afterward. Here I had thought it was outside the realm of possibility for me to get wet leaves into various green bins when in reality it was just kind of a pain in the ass. The bags of leaves were heavier than anything I have ever lifted but I didn’t die or anything. It made me think of other things that seem impossible to me, like reading a tire gauge, operating a drill, or putting more windshield washer fluid into my car. I wonder if that lady will have me on that show “We Can Do Hard Things.” I would have so much wisdom to share.