I answer "20 Fun Writing Prompts"

I am not kidding

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I answer "20 Fun Writing Prompts"

I rarely have trouble thinking of something to say but today I actually googled “writing prompts.” I could not bring myself to do just one of them, so I did all twenty.

Here are my answers to “TWENTY FUN WRITING PROMPTS.”

Write about a song and a feeling it invoked in you. 

The song “Your Song” by Elton John upsets me a lot because I came home one day when I was maybe 8 and my mom was crying and listening to it because her friend died and I was terrified because I thought adults weren’t supposed to cry —I thought it was only something kids did when they fell. Anyway, after my mom let me see her crying once she just decided that it was fine to cry in front of us, not a big deal, so then I got more used to it. But that song still makes me instantly cry.

Recall an important memory from your childhood and tell it from the perspective of someone else who was present.

“Sarah was three. She lived in New Hampshire. She saw her neighbor, Emily, who was also three, get smacked on the ass very hard by Emily’s mother. The child screamed bloody murder. She said to herself, “Wow, glad I’m glad I don’t live there, that place sucks,” and from then on, she always thought her parents were mostly, at worst, “not that bad.”

Write about an item you have that isn’t expensive but means a lot to you.

I love my dog’s red harness because she looks so good in it, so tough and ready for anything but so vulnerable.

What color do you feel like today and why?

This is a question that a guest star on Designing Women (who all the main characters hate) would ask - I refuse to answer!

Describe your favorite room in your home or apartment.

I love our living room because it is pretty much empty except for a cheap couch, a nice couch and a nice rug. It is clean and doesn’t have any clutter. Also Ruthie is in the room in her harness, making it perfect.

What is the most adventurous thing you’ve eaten?

This question is ridiculous.

Write a review of the last movie you saw. 

I watched Rocketman on a plane. It was “conceptual” and utter garbage. The only thing good was learning how Bernie Taupin and Elton John met each other so randomly and had such an amazing partnership but this relationship isn’t something that I learned much about from the film, more from Wikipedia after the film was finally over. Speaking of Wikipedia, the director of this film once stole nasturtiums from a street vendor. The vendor, who had participated in the Great Train Robbery, recognized the assailant because he had been in The Rachel Papers (also a not-great movie that I have stupidly seen) and he was for this reason easily apprehended.

Write about an imagined ideal day walking around a city of your choosing. 

I wake up in Paris. I descend from my garrett to the street where I purchase croissants and coffee in a bowl from a frowning but soft-hearted café proprietor named Pierre. Afterwards, I dreamily wander through bookstores fingering old volumes of Proust and Baudelaire and make my way to the Louvre where I stand in awe in front of the Mona Lisa. Next I go to a bistro where I drink white Burgundy and eat snails and sop up the garlicky butter with crusty bread. I chortle my way through a saucy burlesque show in Pigalle while drinking Lillet and afterwards, exhausted but happy, slowly ascend to my garret, where I fall asleep to the strains of accordian music in the streets.

If you could live inside one of your favorite stories, what would you change about it?

What?

Write about why you want to write. 

Honestly, good question.

Write about something nice a stranger did for you.

When my old dog Merle was sick back in 2017 or so many many strangers sent me money to help pay her vet bills. I was very broke at the time and it was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, or to Merle.

Describe your favorite piece of furniture in your childhood home.

My parents had a red velvet chair that I thought was the height of elegance. It’s actually very uncomfortable, I “inherited” it when they moved to a smaller house, and now my neighbor has it.

What was the last piece of media you read, heard, or saw that inspired you?

I hate the word inspired, but I liked this piece in Gawker by Paul McAdory about gay sincerity in novels.

What is a dream you’ve had that you want to live in forever?

I had a dream once where I was married to Matt Damon and the dream was all about the clothes I had as a result and that was a good dream. I don’t want to be married to Matt Damon — he’s too old for me, really — but I wouldn’t mind shopping on his dime, as I was in the dream. I bought maybe 10 white cashmere throws. Yesterday I read how Sharon Stone bought a similar item to wear as Catherine Trammel in “Basic Instinct” because it made her feel rich.

Write about what you think the world will look like in 10 years.

I’d rather not!

Describe what you imagine to be happening in a historical photograph.

I googled famous old photographs and all I saw was the guys sitting on the construction equipment/crane? high above New York City eating their lunch so I am going to guess that — what is going on in this photo is a bunch of guys eating their lunch high above New York City? I don’t understand this question.

Write about a time you witnessed community solidarity. 

Instead of answering this question, I will just encourage you to listen to this Trillbilly Worker’s Party episode about the way their friends and neighbors have responded to the awful floods in Kentucky. If you think oh depressing I don’t want to listen to that, well, I assure you that in addition to “being depressing because the world has a lot of bad stuff going on” it’s also weirdly funny.

Read the last postcard, letter, or personal email you received, and start a story with the first sentence.

“Yes, I hate it so much and I hate myself for knowing the whole saga,” David said. He sighed and poured himself a large glass of white wine. “Twitter is terrible, don’t you think?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Charlene. “Didn’t you enjoy reading about a scoldy person who had very high standards of conduct for everyone but then turned out to work at a weapons manufacturer?”

etc.

Who is the most interesting person you can think of? Create a list of questions you would ask them in an interview.

Right now the most interesting people I can think of are Tom Sexton and Tarence Ray who are the hosts of the above mentioned podcast and I am going to interview one or both of them for my next post about the floods in Kentucky and the questions will be in this interview.

Recall an object you found on the sidewalk/side of the road. Why did someone give it away? Why did they have it to begin with?

The last thing I saw on the sidewalk/side of the road was a package of pu-erh tea. The person bought it because they heard it was an interesting tea beneficial for “health.” But then they thought it tasted weird and just stuck to regular tea. I actually like pu-erh. I ordered it at lunch during an interview I was doing, we shared a pot of it, and I think it enhanced my powers of concentration and provided a slight increase in energy.