Have You Tried Turning It Off And Walking Into The Sea

I hate computers. It is mutual.

Here is a list of things I learned to do on a computer that I am proud of and the year I learned to do them: dragging a disk into the trash to remove it instead of just ripping it out of the drive (1989); taking a screenshot (2012); hotlinking (2014).

In 2016, I had the opportunity to learn how to resize a photo. I respectfully declined. It was a bridge …