What Happens On Sex/Life Season 2
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Netflix announced this week they’d be running a second season of Sex/Life, a one hour drama about a hot suburban mom, Billie, who writes extensively in a steamy diary about her old flame, an Australian music mogul named Brad. No matter how hard she tries to be content with her ethical investment banker husband, Cooper, there’s no denying her feelings, so that by the end of the season, her plan is to somehow be with both of them.
Billie Connolly is in a bathroom on a Metro North from New York to Greenwich. She is clearly in the throes of erotic ecstasy. We can’t see who with. After Billie’s loud finish, we hear Brad’s voice, low and husky: “What were you doing to my ass?” Billie is alarmed. She wasn’t doing anything to Brad’s ass! Then it dawns on her: What he’d thought was her finger was actually the train’s throttle. Yes, she had been having sex in the second car bathroom. But Brad had been having sex —with her — all the way up at the very front of the train. She shakes her head and blushes as Brad joins her back in their seat. “Show off,” she says.
Soon the lustful pair arrives in tony Greenwich, far from Brad’s gritty Soho loft. Cooper Connolly greets them at the door of the genteel family home he’s been sharing with Billie and their young children. “I hate that you’re fucking my wife,” Cooper says to Brad. “And I really hate that you could probably install a split rail fence without having to use any actual tools. But I’m willing to do this. For my family.” They embark on a long, painful negotiation about how Billie and Cooper are going to preserve their marriage while Billie and Brad continue to conduct their affair.
Soon realizing they are at an impasse, the trio decide to do MDMA under the supervision of a trained therapist. Not far in, Cooper admits he’s feeling unsafe but that he actually admires and respects both of them and also that his face feels soft. This is a real breakthrough and for a few hours they all play strip bocce on the Connolly’s lawn. Brad is terrible at bocce and quickly finds himself removing his underwear. Billie begs him not to. “Everything is going so well,” she whispers. “Cooper seeing your penis by accident once at the health club* was bad enough. He kept going on and on about how you probably could use it to scrub dirt off your knees. if you wanted. It was awful. Please. This will ruin the fragile understanding we’ve built with him over the last four hours.” Brad is angry. “This is never going to work with your traditional southern belle ideas of morality,” he says. “Anyway, I’m starting to crash hard. I need some beer and some cocaine. Call me when you know what you need.”
Billie watches with tears streaming down her face as Brad climbs angrily into a Town Car and heads back to Manhattan. Billie runs to the station and, following Brad, takes Metro North back into the city too. But once she arrives at Grand Central Station, she feels she has made a terrible mistake. She can’t give up her children, her whole life. She rides the train back to Greenwich, then back to New York, and so on. At the end of Episode 3, she finally gets off the train. She spends all of Episode 4 walking the length of a blurry platform. Is she in Manhattan or Greenwich? The final frame reveals: Greenwich. So she’s going back to Cooper? No. She’s chosen both of them. Again. She goes back into the city to tell Brad her plan: three nights a week with Brad and four nights with Cooper.
Brad doesn’t say anything at first. They have sex in a swimming pool, her seated on the diving board, him standing in the shallow end. Afterward, Brad admits he wants her to alternate the number of nights every week, sometimes four with him, sometimes four with Cooper, so it’s at least even.
“I’m trying to finish my dissertation,” Billie says, tears filling her eyes. “I can’t be expected to add up all those numbers every week too. Plus, Cooper is my husband.”
“Speaking of numbers, was he your husband when I was literally 146 feet aaway from you and we were still able to make love, no problem?” Brad retorts.
“Even then,” Billie says. She goes back to Greenwich with wet hair. The next morning she and Cooper have a tender conversation about socially responsible capitalism. They are about to kiss, for the first time in a while, when Cooper’s phone rings. “Honey, I gotta take this,” he says. “It’s that guy I told you about, the one who makes tires out of strawberries.” Realizing how much she respects Cooper's commitment to the environment, but understanding her deep passion for Brad, and also knowing that she can’t forget about her friends just because she is getting pounded within an inch of her life every day, Billie decides on a compromise that feeds her heart, her body and soul, and her need to get hammered in sparkly tops: three nights a week with Cooper, three with Brad, and one night a week with her best friend Sasha, going toe to toe on the Cucumber Locos at The Smith.
Cooper and Brad both agree to this plan. Then it comes to light that Cooper’s strawberry tire guy is, in fact, making tires that are 99% rubber and only 1% strawberries. Humiliated, Cooper lashes out at Billie, threatening to move the kids and himself to a possible new job in Chicago.
Billie panics and hops on a train bound for the city but on it she realizes she was already there and is headed for Greenwich. She gets off at Fordham and goes all the way back to tell Brad she doesn’t know if she can be there for him while Cooper is in the midst of realizing it is impossible to make tires without rubber. Brad is angry. He shouts at her, “Come off it, babe,” and the Siri app on Brad’s phone, confused by his Australian accent, thinks that he actually said “Call Office Babe.”
“Calling Office Babe,” it pipes up. Brad lunges for the phone but Billie grabs it first, and when a sultry woman’s voice answers Billie recognizes it right away — Office Babe is Danielle, the sexy young receptionist from Brad’s record company. Danielle/Office Babe says, “Hello? Hello? Brad? Is this you? Brad?” before Billie manages to hang up.
“My mother always told me if I met a man with an Australian accent and a pecker the size of an Alabama Bass I should start running and never stop!” Billy shouts. “I didn’t listen and I regret it. I hope you have good sex with office babe!” She leaves as Brad’s Siri app inquires politely, “What do you want to text to office babe?”
Heartbroken, Billie runs immediately to Sasha’s apartment and they do shots of mezcal and try on sparkly tops until they pass out. They wake to knocking. It’s Brad. He’s with Danielle/Office Babe. Danielle explains that she and Brad were out one night, totally just hanging as buds, and after a few too many whiskey sours at Lucy’s she put her number in Brad’s phone as Office Babe. She tells Billie it was just some random joke and then shows Billie a photo of herself at Pride with her girlfriend. Billie says they are a beautiful couple and that even though she loves to get railed she is definitely an ally.
Brad excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and Danielle confides to Billie that Brad talks about her all the time and that he wants her all to himself. Billie breaks down and confesses that she has only been trying to make this complicated situation with Cooper and Brad work because she’s afraid to admit that it’s only Brad that she wants, and as soon as he gets back from the bathroom, she’s going to tell him how she feels. But Brad is already there. “I’ve been standing here the whole time,” he says. “You don’t really think I go all the way to the bathroom every time I want to take a piss!”
The last episode ends with Brad and Billie heading to Greenwich on Metro North to negotiate with Cooper, this time for keeps. Billie asks Brad if he’s interested in a quickie. Brad confesses that earlier today, after Billie shouted at him and took off, he chucked his phone across the room and hit his own cock. He assures her he’s going to be alright, but he might be out of commission for a while. Billie’s eyes fill with tears, but this time they are tears of joy. Billie promises Brad that even if he threw his iPhone across the room and hit his own weiner every day for the rest of his life, he would still be the one. Brad pulls out a giant diamond ring and puts it onto her finger. “Too big,” she says. “Lucky some things that are too big can be made smaller.” Brad looks worried for a second. Then they both laugh.
*In Episode 3 of Season One, Cooper spies on Brad and ends up in a gym shower with him. He gets a full frontal glimpse of his rival and quickly discovers one very big — in fact huge — reason why his wife can’t seem to move on.